Home of the Blues
by chosenfire28
Summary: Set right after the flashback incident in “Something Wicked” John packed up the boys and ran to Jim’s but even there he can’t escape the demons that chase him and learns that he’s the worst of all.


Title: Home of the Blues

Author: Chosenfire

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN. All recognizable characters and situations belong to their respective owners and I make no profit off of playing with them.

Rating: PG-13

Characters: John, Jim, Dean

Spoilers: SPN preseries and "Something Wicked"

Summary: (Set right after the flashback incident in "Something Wicked") John packed up the boys and ran to Jim's but even there he can't escape the demons that chase him and learns that he's the worst of all.

A/N: Enjoy and let me know what you guys think.

_Just around the corner there's heartache  
Down the street that losers use  
If you can wade in through the teardrops  
You'll find me at the Home of the Blues_

John dropped them off just as dawn was breaking and he helped them get settled into the bed Jim provided them with not saying a word as he left his boys there closing the door behind him finally. He dragged a hand over his gritty his eyes taking a deep breath as his fists clenched.

"What happened Johnny?" Jim asked his voice flat determined to get answers.

John turned to him wondering whether to glare or to punch him. Jim always pushed, he was self righteous bastard who didn't have the good sense to back the fuck off and John wasn't in the mood to fight with him again.

"I lost a demon," John admitted tonelessly stating the facts "almost lost Sammy." He moved away from Jim's imploring eyes searching through the papers scattered on the coffee table his voice harsh as "and don't call me Johnny."

He heard Jim snort behind him "I'll call you whatever the hell I want to," he felt the other man moved closer to him and he tensed his nerves shoot to hell and he didn't want to alienate one of the few friends he had but if the bastard kept pushing he was going to take a shoot and the boys needed a place to stay for the night. Not that Jim would ever kick them out, hell he'd throw John's ass to the curb and he had on an occasion but John didn't want to have to fight to get his boys back again.

The "I'm fine" shit never seemed to work on the other hunter and while Jim would give him his space he could be a real bitch some time sticking his nose where it didn't belong, he was always the first to tell John to get his head out of his ass a be a father.

Hell the man had even threatened to take the boys for him and disappear.

"Are you going to hunt it?" Jim asked either's unaware of how close to the edge John was or not giving a fuck, John figured it was the later and the bastard kept pushing forward.

"No." John replied flatly as he started going through the papers needing a hunt to take his mind off the one he had failed, his hands were still shaking and he gritted his teeth wondering if Jim would get off his ass long enough for him to find the good Scotch.

He could feel it coming and his good friend didn't disappoint "John Winchester I've never known you to back off a trail once you got the scent."

John grimaced picking up one of the articles and stuffing it in his pocket. "Watch the boys for me." He told Jim lightly as he turned to go only to be stopped by a hard grip on his arm keeping him from leaving.

His nostrils flared and he could feel the rage building inside, his voice was low and dangerous as he warned his friend "Let me the fuck go." It came out somewhere between a snarl and a growl and he really had to get the hell out of there.

The grip tightened for a second almost painfully before it let up and John knew it would just be more bruises on his skin. Jim's voice was just as firm as his "Fine Johnny boy but once you kill whatever demon crawled up your ass we need to have a talk."

John snorted reaching for the coat he had discarded on the way in the house "Keep telling yourself that." He turned to leave hand on the doorknob when he saw Dean standing there outside of the room pajamas worn and faded from too many washing eyes watching him intently.

John locked eyes with his oldest boy and he felt the guilt and the shame reminders of the ways he had failed Mary and had failed the boy in front of him. He didn't look at Dean as a father would, when he stared at the boy for a split second he didn't see his son but a soldier who had failed to follow orders and had put the mission in danger, had put his baby brother in danger.

John tried to reign in his emotions schooling his features but it was too late, the look that past between father and son in that moment something had shifted and changed, something he could never take back, he saw the shame in his son's eyes and the way the boy seemed to dull before him bowing his head and retreating silently back into the room.

In that moment John knew he had fucked up royally and when he turned to Jim the man only confirmed it his gaze cold letting John know that he destroyed something. That he had destroyed his son and that was just another burden for John to shoulder, the knowledge that he would be the one to break the boy.

_I walk and cry while my heartbeat  
Keeps time with the drag of my shoes  
The sun never shines through this window of mine  
It's dark at the Home of the Blues_

Oh, but the place is filled with the sweetest mem'ries  
Mem'ries so sweet that I cry  
Dreams that I've had left me feeling so bad  
I just want to give up and lay down and die

So if you've just lost your sweetheart  
And it seems there's no good way to choose  
Come along with me, misery loves company  
You're welcome at the Home of the Blues

Just around the corner there's heartache  
Down the street that losers use  
If you can wade in through the teardrops  
You'll find me at the Home of the Blues  
Yeah, you're gonna find me at the Home of the Blues


End file.
